Broken Hearts

Hey everyone! I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have blogged. I have been having a crazy but happy life lately. To catch you up on what has happened to me, let me fill you in. I am back at school and am enjoying all of my classes. I have been blessed with an amazing job as a vet tech in the large animal surgery at the vet school. I have found an amazing new church home. It is call Antioch and anyone in the College Station area that is looking for a place that loves the Lord, I highly suggest this church.

Another thing that has happened in my life since the last time I have talked to ya'll is not so great. I managed to get my heart broken this summer. This was a terribly hard thing for me. The relationship I was in was the first one I was able to go into with a healed heart. I was able to put true emotion and feeling into it and show my true self to the guy. It was good for me and the Lord healed me even more as I opened up and revealed my heart. My mother has always told me that every relationship I am in will teach me something. Whether it is something I want in future relationships or something I want to avoid, I will always learn something. I learned many many things from this relationship, but mainly..... the beauty of a broken heart.

Through life our hearts are hurt by many different things. Our young hearts are hurt by learning Santa doesn't exist or getting made fun of on the playground. Then as we mature, our hearts learn that hurt gets stronger and more real. Our hearts experience loneliness, betrayal, and death. We learn how to experience the pain, work through it, and move on with the lessons the hurt taught us. We also learn that the things that can hurt us the most are the things that we love.

C.S. Lewis once said, "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of our selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell."

So many times I have felt that life would be easier if I didn't open up my heart to things. I have had my heart broken many many times, but I have learned something... broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. Sure the hurt and pain can be excruciating, it can feel like everything in the world is spinning but you are sitting still just having to remember to breathe. But when the spinning stops and the pain subsides, you are different. You are stronger and in an imperfect and strange way, happier than before.

Pain is an inescapable object in our lives. Broken hearts are bound to happen in a lifetime. But the beautiful thing about broken hearts is the healing that follows. The beauty of the Lord taking every crack and scar and molding them into a new creation. That is the beauty of a broken heart... that is the beauty of life.